Seeing Red
by Eyrien
Summary: Post Entropy. NOT SPOILER FOR "SEEING RED" EP! Buffy's rethinking things...


Seeing Red  
  
Author: Eyrien  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them, I'm just borrowing them for a little fun. Can you blame me?  
  
Email: Eyrien_@hotmail.com  
  
Please review and tell me what you think!  
  
And now:  
  
Onto the fun…  
  
  
  
  
  
Buffy sat on top of a tombstone staring out into the night. Her legs were tucked under her chin as she rocked slowly back and forth, trying to calm the inner trembling that wouldn't stop.  
  
Red. All she could see was red.  
  
Willow's red hair as she stood still in front of her computer screen, too stunned to move. Anya's red dress hanging haphazardly as she stood by while Xander pummeled Spike. The red haze in Xander's eyes as his anger became too much to control as he tried to rid his mind of the sight of his fiancé and that dirty creature making love. Spike's stained cheeks as he realized his former love had saved him. The red marks Buffy's nails made biting into her palms as she walked away from the Magic Box.  
  
Her bloodshot eyes as unwanted tears streamed down her cheeks now.  
  
Buffy brushed her tears from her eyes and sniffed. Turning her face up she felt a quiet breeze blow gently against the remaining moisture on her face. Surprisingly, the gentle gesture from nature made her feel a little better. She could almost make out the trees surrounding the cemetery clearing through her blurry eyes.  
  
"'C'mon Buffy, where's the old iron personality?" she whispered to herself. Get it together girl. She felt her face begin to crumple. Ok, maybe too soon.  
  
"Ok, if I can't get together, then my nose will fall off. No more sniffles, I look pathetic enough already. I bet my mascara's not anywhere near the vicinity of my eyes anymore." Buffy muttered, putting her fingertips to her cheeks. Yep, black stains. Damn.  
  
Think of something that won't make you sad. Don't think about how much you just got hurt by witnessing what you saw. Think how Xander must feel, hell, his fiancé slept with someone else. Something. Evil dirty nasty thing. That you slept with…NO, no thinking those thoughts. Must not think of him. It. It's blonde hair shining under the streetlamps of a back alley as it stakes a vampire. It's cocksure grin it flashes to the whole world. Damn egoistical male. It's…his eyes burning into yours with an intensity you're not even sure he's aware of. Must not think of his perfectly toned body stretched cat like across the bed. His hands as they twine through your hair sinuously as he enters…NO! Bad thoughts! Must not think of…Spike. Spike…  
  
The asshole.  
  
Buffy stood up suddenly, tears forgotten. She began pacing about, twisted her head this way and that as a particularly painful thought came up.  
  
How dare he? How dare he? How dare he say that he loved her and then in the next moment sleep with someone else, someone she was friends with? Her best friend's fiancé? How dare he expose their previous trysts to Xander at an already difficult moment? And how DARE he twist her to the point that she little more than a jumble of super sensitive nerves endings? To where she hardly knew what was wrong or right, or worse, make her do something that she knew was so wrong? Spike. It was all Spike's fault.  
  
Now Buffy was seeing red.  
  
She felt anger. Anger at Spike. Anger at Spike for falling in love with her. Anger at Spike for not giving up on her after she showed her disgust at the thought. Anger that he had some quality about him that made her jump him in a moment of craziness. Anger that although he knew she was using him he hadn't dumped her. Anger for making her feel something, something wrong for a creature so disgusting and evil. Anger for sleeping with her best friend's fiancé.  
  
"Trying to get over me? Hell, he probably just wanted to sink it into something after being without." Buffy gritted through her teeth.  
  
It was all his fault.  
  
Buffy didn't even feel the slightest twinge of anger at Anya for sleeping with Spike. She was well on the way to convincing herself that she had been a victim of Spike's horniness.  
  
A newly made vampire burst from the grave Buffy was pacing around, arms outspread, demon mode on as it prepared to pounce what it thought was easy prey.  
  
Buffy looked up to a vampire bearing down in front of her, long white fangs glistening in the moonlight. Seeing the fangs reminded her of Spike, and that made her even angrier.  
  
The vampire, a lean young male with blonde hair, tackled Buffy, knocking her to the ground. He fell on top of her, clawing at her shirt, trying to clear way to her neck. Blood in her eyes, Buffy cocked her arm back and punched up, catching him the chin. He flew farther than usual, landing 8 feet away. Before he could even try to get up, Buffy was on top on him.  
  
"Spike." Punch. "You" Smash. "Asshole!" Punch. "I'm" Kick. "Going to" a particularly vicious punch to the stomach. "Stake your ass!" Buffy sat on top of the vampire, beating him to an inch of his life. When he keeled over on his side to spit out blood, Buffy reached behind her for her ever- present stake. For the first time in her life she relished the feel of the heavy wood in her hand. Its weight burned the last tears from her mind. All that filled her was a blood lust for one vampire. Him in return for the bloody tears her heart had been spilling for months. Payment in full for her pain.  
  
And in that moment, Buffy finally did what Spike had been egging her to do for months.  
  
She embraced the darkness.  
  
She smiled, her first real smile since she had been brought back. A smile of finally accepting what had been pushing at the back of her mind. Tara was wrong, she really had been brought back wrong. Her friends' light had been keeping away the ever-present dark that had threatening to take over her. Enough to the point that she had begun to believe that she really was normal. She had even managed to convince herself of this for a few weeks. But no more.  
  
She really ought to thank Spike for bringing her into this state.  
  
After all, it was his doing.  
  
Buffy grinned, relishing her next meeting with Spike. She would make sure it was unforgettable for both of them. She turned her focus back to the vampire pinned beneath her. He was grasping futilely at her, too new and too weak to be a threat.  
  
Buffy turned the stake toward the vampire and placed it against its chest. She could almost feel the trembling of the undead heart beneath her. A sudden push and all that would be beneath her was a pile of dust.  
  
Too easy.  
  
Buffy stood up suddenly, her interest gone. She stood up and started dusting herself off. The vamp watched her, his bulging eyes and bloody mouth wide at the sight. Deciding that he had been granted a once in a lifetime chance, he stood up clumsily and took off, a smarter vamp now.  
  
Buffy didn't even see him go. She had more important things to do.  
  
Purposefully, she started walking towards the center of the cemetery. Her whole being was focused on the crypt that rose up from the ground.  
  
Upon reaching the door, she paused, running a hand along its cold surface. She grinned, her eyes flashing.  
  
Rearing back, she kicked the door open with enough force to rip it off its hinges and into the middle of the room. The occupant whipped around, blood running from his hissing lips, demonic features raised in confrontation. The blood bag it had ripped into fell from his clawlike hands.  
  
Buffy grinned again, relishing what was to come.  
  
"Spike"  
  
TBC  
  
  
  
And here we go…  
  
Author's notes:  
  
Well, hopefully that wasn't too painful. I'm still not too confident about my writing ability. The end especially seems a little wooden, so don't be surprised if this gets revised soon. Anybody interested in being a beta reader?  
  
Ok, I know that I ended on a really icky part, but I want to make sure that I capture the essence of the next few chapters correctly. I'm really trying to get inside Buffy's head here, but it's hard to do. Frankly, I can see Buffy blaming Spike for everything, even though we all know that Spike is really the only GOOD being out there. I mean, talk about being in love. How else could he put up with all the crap she gives him? Someone really needs to smack her. Grr.  
  
One thing, don't assume anything about this fanfic. I like pulling rugs under from people. I will say this won't change though, I favor a strong Spike. He's gotten too weak in sixth season, putting up with the crap Buffy does. I can understand him being in love therefore putting up with it, but still… GOD, grow a backbone! Stop being so whipped!  
  
Oh, and the other thing that never changes is the Spike/Buffy relationship. This WILL (eventually) be a romance.  
  
Comments and criticism will be lovingly read over and adored! Go ahead, flame me, just tell me what your problem is. 


End file.
